Aita for living with my dad because he can afford. Plus he makes like almost 5k a month. He decided on a home with a master bedroom and 3 other rooms. Expecting son to step up and play daddy because dad couldn't come isn't right, especially since she never communicated that rule. This was the incident that prompted me to leave but was by no means the extent of things. I (27M) have had dreams of being a homeowner for as long as I can remember. GameStop Moderna Pfizer Johnson & Johnson AstraZeneca Walgreens Best Buy Novavax SpaceX Tesla. My dad was an asshole, not least because he refused to have contact with me after he and my mother divorced when I was 3. When I told my mother, her response was “Don’t tell your father. But this is just me growing up with toxic people and learning to prioritise myself with the help of my therapist overtime. My Dad has parkinsons his condition is only going to get worse. My uncle told me that I should forgive my dad but I don't think he deserves my forgiveness as of yet. Would definitely throw me for a loop. Let's just say things didn't go well. If he wasn’t prepared to date fully, he should never have dated the OP let alone planned a future with living together and a kid. Cut him off if that will benefit you, but don’t make yourself and everyone else hurt, it’s okay to get things off your chest but I just thought that maybe you went too far. We told my dad he needed to pay. Keep going with the therapy, keep talking about it, but not with him. He told me he needed to think about it I went to “my” country’s best high school at the time. My husband says I remind him of the princess and the pea story. Because it’s not customary for every member of your family to have their own OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: I stopped talking to the family members I live with because they gaslight and extort me for money. That doctor is also 72 and has retired twice before but keeps reopening his office because he’s also the town drunk. Last week, myself and 4 of my children moved into a 4 bedroom house. His father can raise the rent so it is unaffordable, but he has to give at least 30 day notice of his intent to do so. Whatever happens to her kids is not on you. And he was being petty about all the things he did and not thinking about them. ” At this time my parents were finalizing their divorce and I was living with my dad in a different state, so we put the car under his name. He’s been the needy one since he came out of the birth canal and we’re now almost 40. A catharsis for the frustrated moral philosopher in all of us, and a place to finally find out if you were wrong in an argument that's been bothering you. I was your daughter. He can grow old by himself with his favourite child. I usually host dinners every couple of months and we are going to do a late one for the holidays on Like my grandparents are/were lovely people and great parents, they had 4 sons, and only 2 took care of my grandma before she died (fortunately my dad is one of the good ones), the same 2 are the only ones taking care of my grandpa now and one uncle is literally siphoning off money from my grandpa's accounts after losing his job due to an affair. Aita for telling my parents that either I move out or they do something about my brother. ADMIN MOD. “Now my daughter is not talking to me, nor is my wife. We stay in a three bedroom high rise. Tell us about any non-violent conflict you have experienced; give us both sides of the story, and find out if you're right, or you're the asshole. You embarrassed him bcs you made it seem like he can’t afford it. A broken hip and kidney failure put her in a (good, well run) nursing home on dialysis. AITA for refusing to pay for my father's funeral. Including my recliner. My dad came into serious cash a few years ago and purchased a quaint small 1500 sq foot two-bedroom house in Seal Beach CA. It was my grandmother on my mother's side. I was not close with my father, we spoke regularly and enjoyed each other's company, but I can't say either of us knew each other well, for many years before his death. Forgivness is asked for, and forgivness is earned. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: 1 not letting my children's father live with us 2 they called me heartless and don't think that they are just trying to give their father a place to live, not my ex-husband. That is more than fair. Tell her to get a job, you know since she robbed you of a decent life when you was a kid. For context,he left me and my mother when I was 3 years old and disappeared for 7 years, without even trying to contact me. My father gets angry and yells at me to go up to my room. My dad was really into The Lion King and it was a movie he introduced to me real early and a movie we shared a love for. I used to dress as Simba for Halloween and had Simba cakes for years. I left the family after this for 2 years then came back just a year ago when my dad passed away. One doctor in their entire county if 50,000 people takes Medicare. And at the time, many of the kids came from money their parents made while the bloc transitioned to democracy. So I invited my family to spend Christmas morning at my house. On a large piece of land that is zoned for a trailer park. Background_Egg107. My father's laziness in the home came from misogyny, he believed it was all "women's work". My dad (55M), who we will call W, and I have always been very close. ago. For about the past 10 months, I’ve been working and paying for things around the house as well. In the last couple years of her life her health declined. AITA for not getting my daughter a car after she publicly disrespected me. I (27F) have no relationship with her. This. At the same time I was planning to move out to Seal Beach. Now I am 19 and am currently in college. He knows he can’t give his whole self to a romantic relationship because most of him is busy standing in for his father. My grandfather passed away two years ago from a heart attack. If he can't buy it he can't buy it. It’s probably taken your dad’s life on the line to realise his mistakes, but that doesn’t mean he deserves you in his life. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: I might be the asshole for kicking my husband out when I realized he didn’t babysit like he was I said I didn't want to. Step 3: brother needs a plan to move out. Most commenters specified that while OOP was the Asshole for wishing death to his father, OOP's anger and NC status were valid, and that the father was also an asshole. when I asked him what was If my dad, who had been married to her for 26 years up until now, decides to cheat on her and ruin our family, I’m gonna care at least a little. My mom only receives SS and can barley survive because of the other one. His mother took her own life when he was 13 and has been in therapy since. That is a Fair Housing violation (owner/landlord is trying to dictate what constitutes a family). They have three dogs. Moreover, you are under 18, your parents are still resposible for your healthcare costs. She is the only on in the friend group that is married. She must have told my bio-father, because he came over and asked why I told someone I wasn’t related and I said because I’m not. Judgement_Bot_AITA • 17 min. Honestly I just wish my wife and I were in a better spot and could help him. When my dad stopped trying I just thought it was because he didn't care. Edit: Dad (47m) manipulated me (23f) into moving in with him during the pandemic & asked to borrow $3700 for the downpayment* of the new house. Simple as that, he's 21 he can stay home if he doesn't like the conditions. He apologized, but I still don't forgive him. I think most people would. You tried to show off how much better you are then and after when he expressed how he felt. And all the things that matter to me. I bought a 3/2 house 3 years ago and while it's not the best house I am beyond blessed to own my own house and My father’s brother was my first abuser. I brought up to my mom how I was thinking about having my dad pay me to have my car so I could get a new, more reliable car. Please don’t let them guilt you into ruining your happiness and life. He sure as hell can't say it's because his son won't give him a grandchild. I then look at Nicole and tell her she is a disgusting piece of trash and to get out of our lives. I get angry and tell my father “you need to knock her ass up when you can’t even be here for us”. I chose to live with my dadbecause I have more friends there. We're not well off, not at all. I actually started saving for a house since I was 18. You are not under any obligation to forgive him or even like him as a person. I would spend week days at my mom's and weekends at my grandma's. I didn’t figure it out until Uncle had died. It would kill him. My aunt went to the Greek Islands this summer and now tells us they can afford a paradise vacation in Greece for 7 days but their credit card limit isn't enough for their son's tuition. lol still, I like e and respect my friends so shoes off when I’m at their house. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment. He failed in his responsibilities to you, and is living the consequences. So, I brought up the idea to my dad. My parents divorced nearly 2 decades ago and my dad was single when he passed away. My grandparents and my father never had a great relationship. All that said i really hope to encourage you to look for love from your dad. Got divorced 5 yrs ago. He died when I was 8. My dad can either pay out of pocket to see a real doctor or drive two hours for every doctor visit. AITA for telling my dad his marriage problems are not an excuse. My father married Amy (29F) this past summer. I haven’t forgotten and still hold lots of resentment. Unless he steps back from his mother, he’s selfish to attempt to date anyone. I am still living with my family while I get the money to move out. They are 17 and 13. As I said in one of my comments, we probably have around $50-$100 before payday, sometimes our checking accounts are as low as $13. long story short, he chose my mom instead and even told me he had been sleeping with her for 3 months. They told me that I would be receiving most of their inheritance and camp. AITA Because I wanted To See My Dad Alone w/o Step siblings So I F 23 went with my now fiance to visit his folks in his home state and my dad actually lives in the state about an hour away. My father stopped trying because I had "made my decision" but I was a child, my brain wasn't fully formed, I wasn't equipped to make these decisions. He said his kids were my siblings and he was my dad and I said he was my foster parent, my dad skipped out before I was born. I was in my early 20s, left my marriage because it was unsafe (also have evidence, along with my ex-husband admitting in court he tried - I got in the way - to assault our child "in self-defence" due to being bitten by our 1yo). Your husband is a leech. My dad planned on making it retirement home. NTA. Hi, I'm a (23M) and I have been living with my dad for almost a year. One of his legs is basically a straight rod. Jul 8, 2023 · AITA for living with my dad because he can afford a much better life for me than my mom? Where I'm currently living with my mom isn't great, especially compared to where my dad lives now. You are also probably right that is wasn't a one time thing. My dad lives in a rural area in California. And the high school where my dad's lives is great. She helped raise me but she and my mom got on terribly bc of their own shit. I found away to look at his bank account and he has like 50k. I may be the asshole because I did move in to save money and did borrow tuition money, but my dad “borrows” money saying he’ll pay it back in a week and AITA for living with my dad because he can afford a much better life for me than my mom? No, because I know my uncle needs it. When they do work here and there, they don’t pitch in. My dad told me he didn't know why I was lying but therapy would help me see I loved her. While leaving an enclosure some woman sort of cut us off and pushed in front of us to get out first. 3. They gave me no sign and I hadn't suspected a thing. My parents are divorced but 2 live with my dad and 1 lives with my mom. He didn’t get any kind of Anyway, my father is currently living with a woman undergoing severe mental health problems. Asshole. He cannot stand for long periods of time nor lift heavy loads (if someone passes it to him he can carry it but as he cannot bend he cannot lift properly). He invited you, he didn’t ask for anything. You could very well be charging him rent on your half of the house. Grandma suggested my stepdad was living rent-free in the house AITA for using my father for money. I also know that our state has a lot of self help legal/ legal aid resources. I (25m) live with my parents in a very expensive city. A few weeks ago my mom came over and explained my dad had confronted her about my conception. Don’t do this. Whatever it is, it may just be different than your dads. If he's a bad dad, they can be mad about that. My friend has been married for a year now to her firefighter husband. AITA for living with my dad because he can afford a much better life for me than my mom? AITA for living with my dad because he can afford a much better life for me than my mom? I'm a 17m and want a car. He told my mom that she needed to start paying rent if I wasn't going to be living there. (This is a woman in her 50’s) For months my Dad has tried to be supportive of her but he’s understandably had enough. Like he understood but not the full depth of it. My dad and his wife were upset with me for being unwilling to share it so my dad forced me to take it off and he gave it to my half sister. However, with two other people (step-sister 17f and her bf 18m) under our ADMIN MOD. He decided to have four kids, and I decided not to have any because I would rather spend my time and money on myself. I called my dad and said I was near and and maybe we could go to this great bar and grill I had heard about in the area ( I saw it on Diners Drive Ins r/AmItheAsshole. It’s common knowledge within my family that my family (husband /26 and daughter /4) spend Christmas afternoon over at my in laws house and Christmas evening is spent as just us three. I can feel tiny particles on my feet or what I can only describe as maybe cleaner residue if feels almost sticky but not I hate it. The main reason I am mad about my dad. My dad made only one mistake. And a lot of stuff came out that I didn't expect to hear. My mom is trying to get me to go back so they can save money to get there own place. I have not asked him for money, neither for utilities or to pay me any rent. However, we recently found out that we actually need to move out of the house My grandfather and he and my uncles came and got me. I can tell you from many years of experience with my own father, he's unlikely to change. . When he died, I was surprised to learn that he had left his entire estate to me. Just saying. AITA for telling my brother he can't raise his child in my house. My father who all of a sudden became a coward and didn't talk brother and mother out of it, (he had talked me out of the college I wanted to attend though bcs of the tuition fees back in the day). I have a bedroom at my grandparents house but I miss my area. My mom and stepdad said that I did nothing wrong and Daniel shouldn’t have told lies in the first place. Dad said there was no woman more deserving. Mom had her half saved. I didn't know it was because he felt like I didn't care. He thinks its not fair that I can buy myself an expensive car while he still drives an older car that Dad had bought her house from her because she couldn’t afford it, and kicked them out after a few years due to all the drama. She should have said, you're an adult now, if we pay for you to come you need to help with xyz, otherwise you pay your own way or don't come. I was sure about this decision, but now I feel like garbage so I’m asking you guys for help. So I 30f recently bought a house for my former nanny. I have not brought up that I own the building as it is not something I tell many people, if people ask My cousin asked me to publish this on here. They boys have shared a bedroom all their life, until last summer when my 22 year old J1995916. The only option is to put him in a care home and separate the two of them because we cant afford a live in My dad punished me for something I didn't do, and I'm still upset about it. The only thing he contributes to is groceries, that we split 50/50. I didn't understand because I was a child. Mom stays out of your room and does not get a key. Step 2: speak with a lawyer and become better educated in eviction law. I do my best to avoid any family events that she is attending. 2. If he's not a great dad, maybe that's fueling their ire, but I don't know it's appropriate for them to be nasty to him over it. Maybe it’s something you have to experience to understand, but when someone in your family lies to you, it’s going to hurt like hell. Myself, my 12 year old daughter, and 27 year old autistic son have our own rooms. Some commenters said OOP was NTA because the dad deserved it, while others said OOP was an Asshole for wishing death, but that it was justified assholery. Maybe he is trying to express love for you but can’t manage to do it correctly. Don’t give him $200 for trash, have him add you to the account and pay the bill directly. Jane attended every after school activity, graduation and parent-teacher conference . I dont think its fair at all. AITA for not inviting my friends husband to dinner because he eats way to much. He had been married to his widow, Penny, for about 7 years before. A friend of mine has a disability due to a birth defect. She got upset. My mum isnt strong enough to help with his diaper etc. My sister is turning 30 this year. He was quiet for a minute and walked away. YTA or just an ignorant. Tell her he was only paying for all the time you went with out heat, not water, new clothes. Just because bio dad doesn't have the same income you do it doesn't mean he deserve less respect. AITA for having my kids wear tie dye when with their dad? Not the A-hole. This has lead to threats of violence, random screaming, barricading the house up, even fecal smearing. AITA for refusing my dad’s request for a paternity test. Look. Then I look at his Amex bill and this dude is going out to eat like all the time. My boyfriend 25m moved in with me about three months ago and we have been together for six months. We go to Baseball games almost every week, and spend a In 2019 he told my mom he would split the cost of a trip I wanted to go on with one of my clubs, because she didn't have the money all by herself. Your father died on your 30th birthday when you gave him one last chance and he fucked it up. My mother lived another 14 years. He has money to buy me a car. I didn’t have to live with him- I could’ve stayed with a friend in my college town, but he asked me to move home, and I agreed because he’s a single dad and I wanted to help around the house as well as bond with my siblings. I am crossing my fingers that you get in out of state. It would be perfect if it was just me, dad, and brother (14m). You aren't forcing him to do anything other than recognize what he can and cannot afford. AITA for not letting my family use my home to party. From what he told me, he lived his life, dating other women and even taking care of one of his ex’s child while they NTA. And a massive The story so far- I (F20) am living with my dad for the summer in my hometown. He wanted the new truck and our savings. Later, my grandpa unexpectedly came over to pick me up. Well when I chose this descison my sisters called me names,called me selfish, and cursed me. He said bills were tight and it was the twins birthdays and the money needed to go on something for them. All he has as a real family is his younger sister. AITA for asking my son to get a paternity test. Essentially he wants me to pay 2/3 of everything related to the household, and him pay 1/3. Help keep the sub engaging! Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! Ok_Antelope4554. My entire childhood I was raised by my nanny "Jane" as my mom was the breadwinner and my dad wasn't in the picture at all. Also on mobile, so apologies for formatting. So his relationship with his father is practically non-existent. I lost my job due to the recent tech layoffs over the summer and asking for help from my parents is like pulling teeth He gets whatever he wants. She has 2 different 4 year degrees, a 2 year graduate degree and is right now in the second year of another 2 year graduate degree. He's always managed to get a job just fine. I have memories of waiting outside on the step for agreed visitation when he was supposed to come and pick me up, but he didn't show up. Your brother's mistakes are not yours to pay for. He is being used and he is aware of it and doing nothing. NTA, you did not lose it, your brother did. You know while they had a pool, nanny all new clothes and got everything while you had nothing from them. It was humiliating and the worst thing that has ever happened to me. ETA- I would point out that his living there and not selling it immediately is holding your inheritance hostage. My (33F) father died recently. My grandma and dad’s girlfriend agree with dad because I’m not owed art lessons and me being “bitter” about it is no reason to try and mess up his work reputation with what I said. My son (18) has found out one of his ex girlfriends is 8 months pregnant. As for my relatives: it wasn't my father's family, I lost touch with them after my father died. First let me remove all pretense by admitting that back in 2016 after me and fiance split, I moved back in with my parents who were in military And as a parent, if I’ve ever failed my kid so miserably that they can’t wait to leave my house, I’ve totally screwed up and that’s on no one but me. My dad cheated on my mom. And yeah well, no one had their own car after turning 18. My husband was 7 when his parents divorced. He did the calculations and thinks my mom cheated on him ADMIN MOD. Point is, OP shouldn't be surprised if his daughter did cut herself in the future I13m and my sister 14,15,16,17 all share the same dad and mom. He says it wasn't all that traumatic for him because he didn't really know what was going on that well. Update: A lot has happened in just the last few hours. He's done neither. He had a relationship but they broke up and then he got a new girlfriend, she's a widow with three kids, and they used to spend their time in her house, but her oldest told her to stop being disrespectful with his dad, kissing in front of the kids with her new boyfriend with all He has mentioned that he hates his father and that he was an abusive asshole and that he would abuse him and his sister every day. My dad's nearest relative (legally speaking) is his mother, who I have met once in my life at a wedding. Edit: forgot to say, he's only working these hours during the summer so he can afford his tuition next semester I can relate to that so much. He had a family living there for 10 years and they recently moved to another state. Yes. During our divorce we owned a old single wide mobile home (1973). The reason he can't afford it is because he is still financially supporting my sister who is a never ending college student. He was watching YouTube and a video was talking about calculating a baby’s due date by conception date. I don’t know you, I don’t know your dad, and I don’t know your situation. When I (16m) was a baby my dad bought me a Simba stuffy. And his snippy comments about other people being lazy were projection, because he knew he was a lazy jerk, but was too narcissist to do anything other than accuse Plastic-Assistant-21. My dad can barely walk due to an old injury but he has to work to keep a roof over their heads and fed. I (30 F) my ex-husband (31m). Not the A-hole. We are from West Los Angeles. I can't imagine at 18 finding out my uncle was actually my dad and my dad is my uncle. He said from that day on it was hers because she deserved it and I had acted immaturely and cruelly by refusing to let her even touch the necklace. This means absolutely no more cash handouts. He knew nothing of the sort of her being pregnant until now and now he's just expected to accept everything no questions asked. Me and my sibling are still with my granny She said she is happy to take care for us and that she loves having her grandchildren staying with her. The daughter probably tried, because her father has made her miserable in a million ways, she can't afford to get away with him, and the conversation made her realize that her father is even worse than she thought he was. And yes, I would consider what your father did to be cheating. If anyone breaks these rules, you move toward immediate eviction proceedings. My daughter (20) is good friends with this girl and knew about her AITA for asking my wife to support my family? EDIT- Alot of you are asking why parents need help when they have pension. I did go to therapy. I told them I didn't love her enough to let her be my mom. Crypto AITA For not letting my 6yr old son meet my ex boyfriend [his father] I [27] female met my ex boyfriend Marco [29]male I was 19 and he was 21 . Welcome to r/AmITheAsshole. Business, Economics, and Finance. when I told my boyfriend he was fuming. In order to pay for the wedding, my father has gotten a "loan" from my uncle, his brother, and he now wants the money My father planned well for his and my mother's old age. As there is 5 of us and only 4 bedrooms my teenaged sons are sharing a bedroom. I do thank my husband for allowing me access to our checking, even when it came to seeking legal counsel. Not a single one of them owned a car. I talked to my mom about it, and she thought it might be a good idea for me to live with my dad for the sake of the better school. So last week, me, my wife and 2 kids went out to the zoo for my daughters 23rd birthday. There are more oppurtunities. Not least of all because middle step complained to his dad after my dad told him to put clothes on because there’s girls in the house, and he came over to fight my dad for parenting his children. *edit: for them to be nasty over bio dad not getting them fancy things. Nov 1, 2023 · “My wife feels I should do it because we can afford it, but I find it to be a pointless showing of wealth,” he wrote. Be prepared to serve 30 day notice to your brother and SIL, and mom if necessary. I am one of 5 siblings. I've shown this post to my dad and also to my aunt and sister. She then said to do it because I loved her. Simba was my favorite toy and always made me think of my dad. Jane basically raised me and I see her as my second mom. when we first started dating I had just turned 19 and after 2 1/2 years of dating I soon enough I found out I was pregnant with Jessie . Find a way to control what your father spends any gifted money on. if you really felt you wanted to help him you would have done it after everyone left like he said. It sound bad so let me give some context. She cried. My mom recently decided she wanted to move to this city because she was tired of living in the country. We were having a great time. Even the schools there are much better. Me (17 f) and my father (40 m) never had the best relationship. To start off with, reading your comments finally gave my dad the motivation to put his foot down against my sister and aunt. Agreed. My dad said he can't afford to buy me one because he's living paycheck to paycheck. If that’s not an option, have him send you statements, including payment receipts, for every bill you pay for him. I firmly believe then when a parent cheats on their spouse, that they are betraying the entire family. See our ~~*Best Of*~~ "Most Controversial" at /r/AITAFiltered! UPDATE) AITA for telling my parents they don’t have a daughter. Unfortunately, he was only 70 when he passed away. So I(20) have been living with my mother since Covid started and I left college. Your older brother could have paid for the retainer, though, as he was so concerned about your father's money handling. My dad and I got into a big fight about it Ngl if my father did that to me, i will be cutting ties the moment i can be independent. ” Because dad’s happy ignorance was so much more important than her daughter trying to deal with what Uncle did when she was 3 years old. I (18NB), just graduated high school this past June and since then have picked up 3 jobs. He's gone. My BIL who just turned 18 is working sixty hour weeks at a construction gig this summer because he doesn't want his father's "strings attached" money. tjdslxkrpsitsmyoupir